Much Ado About A Vandal

Their anger must have been bursting at the seams as they sat to deliberate the matter. There must have been a feeling in the room that they were positioned in history to get rid of a perennial irritation that has overgrown the average working life of a Ghanaian. They must have felt righteous in taking a decision that perhaps they had the power to. I presume there might have been a Vandal or two at the round table. Even they, might be tired of the antics of the current generation. Some may even express surprise that the problem has outlived many generations of the powerful Council. The centre piece of the debate and the fiery language in the room was The Vandal. Who is he? He is the occupant of the commonwealth hall of residence on the University of Ghana Campus at Legon. An enigmatic young man whose claim to fame is pushing the boundaries of what many consider as decency and decorum. He may even be the son of one of them. His presence on the campus may be a first step to earning some of the fanciful titles in the academia conspicuously worn by most of them at the round table. But today, he stands accused of heckling the chancellor of the University in the person of Busumuru Kofi Annan, the former Chief of the United Nations Organisation. The Executive Council of Legon has had enough. The meeting has come to a conclusion. The problem of the Vandal City is excess testosterone, it is time to calm the wayward hormone by injecting a dose of Oestrogen and Progesterone. Effective next academic year, the hall which has remained an only male hall for decades will become Coed and will be reserved only for postgraduate students. Ostensibly, the decision was taken to forestall further embarrassment to the University.

If it is just for the purpose of maintaining tradition, I wouldn't care a hoot about lining the wardrobes of Vandal City with skimpy skirts. In fact, that may be the joy of the sons of Bacchus assigned to the Waste Management unit of the hall. The choir master will bear the only complication arising out of the move as he has to decide what to do with the lines in the stupid songs that refer to Volta Hall. Under these conditions the position of the hall anthem becomes untenable and he may have to replace Volta 'Basia' with Vandal 'Basia' in many other songs? I believe traditions should be jettisoned once we have no more use for them. But in this case, I hold the view that the Executive Council's attempt to silence the Vandal tradition is high handed and misplaced. If it was a policy decision with stated aims, one would lend his sympathy. But this is borne out of rage and anger. They are not only hitting a fly with a sledge hammer, but they are doing so at a time the harmer is needed to fix the dining table without which dinner won't be served. There are many more important things in the university which require the intensity of the attention they devoted to the issue not to mention the publicity it generated. For many years the University has been crying for radical and innovating ways of dealing with overcrowding, filth, attracting motivated young lecturers, outmoded courses and a sinking image among African elite Universities. These and other problems which have been nursed and nurtured by various university administrations over the years are the real dent on the image of the university. The stench that hits you in the corridors leading to overused toilet facilities which lack regular flow of water is improperly located at the nation's premier University in the twenty-first century. These problems would welcome some real punch that puts them not only on the front page of our newspapers for days but also on the minds of every Ghanaian until resolved.

There have been no shortages of assaults on Vandalism over the years. Among other things, Vandals have been accused of using profanity in their songs, practicing occultism, and being excessively boisterous; and they cannot totally plead innocence to these charges. Meeting Vandals for the first time is a rude awakening. For many, this happens when they first join the Legon community. The reaction varies. For the Charismatic and Pentecostal Christians, Vandalism features highly on the prayer list. I prayed many of such prayers in the hall chapel when I was a bona fide member of the Commonwealth Hall JCR. Don't ask me what I prayed for because I can't be sure that what is happening is not the answer to some of those prayers. For some people, their encounter with Vandalism creates a total revulsion towards the Hall which they carry decades after student life. When such people sit in council over Vandalism, what do you expect? Skin Pain 'sonnnn'. So right from the first year, Vandals are used to being cursed and criticized from within the hall and in the colonies. But I doubt if anybody expected the mega assault ostensibly coming from the Executive Council. The punch is power laden and devastating in two directions. First, they will get rid of all Vandals who presently occupy the hall. Then they will bring in post graduate students who I believe will be sieved to make sure that no ancient Vandal finds his way back to his roots. This is tantamount to robbing the hall of its memory (like an induced computer disk crash). With the memory goes the culture and tradition. This is exactly the kind of solution required to change the bad and damaging cultures in many Ghanaian institutions, the University not excluded. But alas, such a powerful tool used on 'small boys' whose youthful exuberance doesn't endear them to some powerful dons. Secondly, making the hall a graduate hall minimizes the chances of the culture sneaking back through the backdoor. On the average, graduate students spend less time in the University and are occupied with other matters other than building camaraderie in the hall. Within one or two years most are out, and most of that time is spent between lectures, family and work. I don't know who mooted the idea, but his genius can be better deployed elsewhere in the university. Not even the direct assault on the soul of Vandalism, which I suspect was carried out by the Christian fraternity, when the brass statue of the so called Father Bacchus vanished inexplicably in the mid 90s, could be more devastating. This new attack touches the spirit.

Coming from the Christian charismatic circle, I'm aware that the belief that Vandalism is occultism is strong. This belief is fueled by activities that herald the inauguration of the Chief Vandal. Personally, I do not believe that the young men are possessed. It is just a play that goes too far. I have had major challenges with the profane songs. I will never forget the year (93/94) in which I had to abandon my room at the A-Block when the PAWA (Profane Association of West Africa) competition was held at the observatory. In the year that followed, as the hall President, I had to live with about half an hour of profane lyrics anytime I had to Chair a hall meeting. Luckily for me, the music writers were so lazy they never wrote original songs, it was always an adaptation of well known songs. To block my mind from capturing the unwanted lyrics, I always hummed the true words when they get intoxicated with the profanity that flowed freely from the LPs. But I do not believe that these songs or the antics that go with them bring any disgrace to the University. In fact, most of the criticisms of the songs stem from the fact that they are sang in a local language-Twi. I have heard similar descriptions in songs written in English and no eyebrows are raised. I don't know why we are so hypocritical when we speak our local languages. The other day on JoyFm, a young man was accused of raping a girl he had earlier saved from being raped. The word sex was used several times without trouble in the exchanges. When a lady police officer used the same word in twi, some colleagues in the office couldn't repeat it. They had to whisper it to each other. In any case, if profane lyrics merit throwing out thousands of students from a hall, then let's disband the Ghana army. There are many Christian s today who serve in the security services. What songs did they sing when they were in training? Praises and worship? ' Awala'. Oh, and we sang some of those songs in the secondary school too. I recall my days in West Africa Secondary School when we declared ourselves the Jama Lords as we took trophy after trophy in the Interco competition. The only difference then was that most of the songs were in Ga not Twi. Maybe the students should be dismissed.

Admittedly, some of the acts attributed to vandalism are indefensible. You may get away with profane lyrics and call it freedom of expression, gloss over libation and suspected occultism and call it religious freedom, but how do you justify the attempted burning of another hall? What can you say about S..t bombing of colleague students? Try making sense out of nudity in the form of BWT and others on a University Campus. Some of them border on criminality. The good news is that such acts have been internally resisted by decent minded Vandals for decades. Over the years there have been skillful maneuvers to redefine Vandalism from its original meaning (the dictionary vandal ) to an acronym- Vivacious Affable Neighborly Devoted Altruistic and Loyal . As a hall president, I openly took on the chief Vandal over the 'Nibinson & Dibinson' affair for an act that I felt he should have taken responsibility for, though not entirely his fault, in an article titled "Wither Drifts Vandalism?" The Old Vandals Association has had cause to openly reprimand Vandals over excesses. These efforts demonstrate that many of us are on the side of the university council to get rid of the excesses in Vandalism. That is why their decision is a smack in the face of partners they had to uphold. To hurt the bad and the ugly, they didn't care about offending the good.

Bluntly put, these excesses are youthful exuberance wrongly expressed. I want to believe it is the responsibility of the University authorities to mold the young men and women who pass through the university into useful assets for the nation. That is the spirit with which they should engage the Vandals. The university code of ethics is clear. People who breach it, must be identified and dealt with. It sends a very important message to these young men that you're free to express yourself in society as you want, but you must avoid breaking the rules. This is one thing Legon has done quite well in the past. The resort to totalitarianism this time is unnecessary. Throwing these young men out of the hall is defeatist and a sign of failure. It's like a father who throws out a fourteen year old son because he can't rein him in. Many young men will still come into the university with that same energy. In the absence of Vandalism, they will find new outlets to vent them. Rather than rally round a defined group with structures known to all, underground groups may emerge with totally wayward leadership, then will the greatness of this idea to quash Vandalism burst forth. When the university has to deal with ninja style disruption of congregations, they will recall the days of heckling with nostalgia. If anyone thinks it is farfetched, take a look at the gangs that reign in Nigeria's universities. By the way, doesn't Vandalism provide the psychology and sociology departments a good laboratory to study and propound interesting theories about humans? Sounds funny huh?

One cannot also discount the positive attributes of Vandalism in this matter. There are way too many timid Ghanaians. This is partly a result of our upbringing in our educational institutions. You're suppressed and not allowed to express your thoughts if the authorities are not comfortable with them. Instead of engaging you in reason, to show why you are wrong, you are tagged disrespectful and undisciplined. By the time you leave the Vandal city, you learn to express your thoughts without fear or favour. It doesn't matter if your diction is sick or you suffer from vocabulary epilepsy. Nobody cares about the village secondary school you attended or how broke your parents are. We all sit on the green grass and eat Daavi's banku whiles trading ideas, unflattering remarks about each other and anybody, and encouraging each other. Your confidence is fully built by the time you walk out of the place. It is one place to find a family bonding that lasts for years. It is not by co-incidence that for decades, Commonwealth hall has remained the centre of student resistance. Of course, some universities administrators hate their guts. They prefer docile students who will succumb to any poorly constructed policy because they're too scared to speak their minds. Why won't they throw out the Vandals and then Okponglo will follow since the introduction of ladies in that hall didn't succeed in taming anybody, then maybe KNUST will follow with Katanga and so on ….. Is it any surprise the university has almost become a glorified secondary school?

To my younger V-Mates, I say, there is a time to fight and there is a time for diplomacy. This is a time to be really smart and use diplomacy to achieve an end. Disrupting examinations and petulance will only serve to erode all goodwill your course has attracted. Many voices in the land including those from the colonies have screamed in your support. Hopefully, the dons shall see reason. They will not choose the path of creating a monster bigger than what they think you are.

As always, Truth stands!


 
PS: Is it true the Kwatroit is behind theses wahalas? He is one Don I've admired since childhood o.

Chieftaincy, an Albatross We Can Do Without

Chieftaincy is a revered institution in Ghana, but I belong to a minority of people who think it has outlived its usefulness. It doesn't matter if it is chiefdom or kingdom, it is simply incongruous with what we want to achieve as a people- Statehood- that is what Ghana stands for. A king is the ruler of an independent State (according to Oxford's dictionary), while a Chief may be the ruler of a tribe. To the extent that there is only one independent State called Ghana that we belong to, I get amused by the claims to Kingdoms in Ghana. I have heard arguments asserting that one traditional leader is a King and another is not. That might be the case three hundred years ago, but they lost that title from the very moment they couldn't defend their territories against the white man who merged them with other States and tribes to form what we know today as Ghana. Lesotho and Swaziland are States that exist as kingdoms in Africa today, but the same cannot be said of Ghana. If nations had been created from the former states of Asante, Anlo, Ga, or Okyenman with monarchs at the helms, then we could be talking about kingdoms.

Whether Chief or King, in the period when they had some relevance, their function was to provide leadership and governance for their people. They made laws, they passed the death sentence, and they banished people from their territories because they had the authority and power to do so. The idea that blood qualifies you to exercise such authority provides nature with the platform to mock humanity. Putting a moron in line is a scary proposition that may compel some king makers to look elsewhere for a successor in order to rescue the stool from the games of nature, but these acts only lead to another dangerous game called war. Luckily, the power to govern has been taken away from the chieftaincy institution and handed over to a system that provides opportunity for all citizens so willing, to stake their claim to leadership regardless of whose DNA they carry. If monarchs cannot fulfill the purpose that defines them, why do we have to keep them? It is not surprising that many of them think they can still wield these powers, once we keep them, they must fulfill their function.

A few years ago, a group from the Asante region declared Kumasi as a no go area for some journalists because they said unpalatable things about the Asantehene. Assuming traditional authorities still retain the authority to banish people from their traditional areas, and the Ga Mantse decides to exercise that authority in Accra, people will clearly be robbed of their right to make a living in Ghana. How ludicrous does that sound? But now and then, we hear of traditional leaders banning people or groups from their areas. We cannot preserve the sanctity of our State in this manner. Clearly Chieftaincy is an albatross we can do without.

Those who argue that chieftaincy is relevant in our context because it is a tradition that defines us as Africans, forget that Chieftaincy is not a Ghanaian or African invention. There were empires far bigger than any in Africa, with Kings at the helm. Most of these empires have been reformed into modern democracies. In fact, there are still monarchs who preside over independent states in Europe and the Arab world among others. These monarchs are the heads of State not the heads of a tribe that is a subset of the State. Ironically, many chiefdoms existing in Ghana today were spared the violent overthrow that consigned some of their counterparts in other parts of the world to the dustbin of history, by the actions of the colonialists who took away their powers and formed modern African states. If that hadn't happened, some of the existing chiefdoms would have been abolished by their own people who would have gotten tired of the undemocratic and dictatorial nature of this system of governance. Others would have fallen to other empires, and maybe some of them would have reformed into great democracies. Africans wouldn't have put up with practices like sacrificing their children to accompany dead kings or chiefs forever. But the reality beyond these ifs is that, Europeans intervened in Africa and demarcated it into States made up of former States.

Beyond colour, I see little difference between the invading Europeans and our own Kings. They were both spurred on by greed and notoriety to conquer and establish empires. They even collaborated in selling our kinsmen as slaves. But on the flip side of the coin, the States created by the European invaders created a stable condition to conserve the various chiefdoms. The stability created, combined with our own irrational emotional attachment to the past, is responsible for the sustenance of these chiefdoms up to date. If they had been left to the law of the jungle that created them, many of them would have been history.

As an agent of development, Chieftaincy is superfluous. With all the problems we have with democratically elected leadership, it remains a better agent of development and accountability than Chieftaincy. At least there is no law that forbids citizens from criticizing the way elected leaders apply our taxes, and we can fire them if we're not happy with their performance. But our chiefs love to live in the tenth century. They are 'beyond reproach' and can do no wrong. Try criticizing them and you will slaughter a sheep. Reality is that we pay taxes to the State of Ghana, why should we pretend we need Chiefs to develop our towns and cities?

Whiles we romanticize with the past by tenaciously holding on to an institution we do not need, the institution itself is loudly calling on the museums to prepare a place for it. Succession is still guided by outmoded rules carried along by oral tradition and different people have their own version of the tradition, with little room for reform. The senseless war of attrition among gates in the north, the needless deaths resulting from attempts to install an Awomefia in Anlo, the question of allegiance between Techiman, Tuobodom , Asanteman and the aftermath are indicators that beg the relevance of the institution in our modern world. I admire the efforts of three big chiefs namely, Okyenhene, Asantehene and the Agbogbomefia, to bring relevance to the institution. But the mission impossible nature of their endevour is underscored by the Techiman- Asanteman palava.

The Chief of Techieman arrests another chief from Tuobodom, who claims allegiance (what does that mean in the 21^st century Ghana?) to the Asantehene, and is alleged to have abused him in his palace. The chief of Tuobodom reports this to the Asanatehene, who is enraged (rightly so) that the security system failed to address an obvious injustice. What does he do? He asks the President to choose between him and the Techimanhene, and also threatens to serve the chief of Techiman with a dose of his own medicine (kidnap him) if he sets foot in his traditional area. All these would have made perfect sense in the year 1810, but we are in 2010. But not exercising the authority the Asante stool is known for will undermine the myth surrounding the office. So the Great King Solomon is caught up between pre-medieval practices of his ancestors and the reality that he doesn't wield the powers his ancestors enjoyed. Unfortunately, threatening to kidnap another person is an offence under the laws of Ghana. Will anybody dare to drag Asantehene before a court of law? The answer is no. Will the Techimanhene be called to answer to the charges of kidnapping? Possibly so. Chieftaincy has led us into a trap. The chief of Tuobodom is before a court of law for an alleged offence. If the Chief who is alleged to have kidnapped and molested him is not charged, that is a big problem. However if he is charged, but the Asantehene is left off the hook, we have another problem. The situation will degenerate into inter tribal bickering with accusations that some tribes and their Chiefs are treated differently even though we are all supposed to be equal before the law. This is my biggest problem with Chieftaincy.

The institution does not only emphasize our tribal differences but exaggerates them. At a time when we need to focus on integrating Africa into one powerful unit, we are busily dividing the already small national components of the continent along tribal lines. Most discussions on Internet message boards and other places quickly degenerate into inter-tribal insults. Chieftaincy plays a big part in dividing us along tribes when we need to foster a sense of national identity. It courts allegiance onto itself rather than Ghana. Some of these Chiefdoms and their followers delude themselves into believing that they are so popular around world, and that is their claim to fame. The truth is that the State of Ghana itself is not that popular. Your tribe may have been mentioned in history books in Africa but that is all there is to it, many forget the name before they graduate and as for the rest of the world, you never existed. Asia accounts for over fifty percent of the world's population, I will be surprised if 0.5 percent of Asians have ever head of Nana Osei Tutu I or Togbui Sri I, or the States they represent. Ethnicity is one great danger to the stability of our State. Rwanda Burundi and Kenya are examples that should deter us from threading the path of the unthinkable. Unfortunately, we have an institution called chieftaincy which is revered by too many, which either consciously or unconsciously draws us to the precipice.

Politicians have latched on to the confusion created by the position of Chieftaincy for cheap popularity. Ministries have been created to look after chieftaincy. The constitution contains phrases to massage the egos of some Chiefs. But if we want this nation to thrive, we must rise above these attempts to placate an institution that is begging to be buried. I'm hoping for a time when the institution will be consigned to the museum, so Ghana can move on.

Fools Denigrate Martyrdom

"Like a thorn which falls into the hand of a drunkard, So is a proverb in the mouth of fools"—Proverb 26:9


 
The first president under Ghana's fourth republic is passionate about many things including discipline, albeit defined in his own terms. His passion for discipline saw three ex-military heads of state and five generals dispatched to the otherworld to 'cleanse' the military. For him, Solomon's admonishing expressed in Proverbs 22:15- Foolishness is bound into the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him- is profound. As a thirty something year young officer who shot his way into power twice, he is used to being referred to as 'the oldman' even by much older men as a sign of respect. So when it comes to discipline ala Proverbs, he is the oldman and everyone else his son. For many years the rumour mill had it that he dished a few slaps to this and that minister at the castle to straighten them out. I only believed them when he pounced on his own vice-president a man far his senior in age at a cabinet meeting. President Mills has received a verbal lashing from him for not living up to the Rawlings standard of discipline resulting in too many 'twits' perambulating the corridors of the castle.

So it happened that a certain 27 year old Nana Darkwa thought the shortest path to fame was to talk his way. At a time the whole country was commiserating with the former first family for losing their house in a valentine day blaze, he alleges on a radio station I personally didn't know still existed that ex president Rawlings set fire to his own house. He goes ahead to throw down the gauntlet inviting the Ex president's aid to challenge his facts. Kofi Adam, haven been schooled in the Rawlings discipline doctrine, picks up the gauntlet the Rawlings style. He gets the police to storm the radio station, arrest Nana Darkwa, present him before a judge who remands him for two weeks under a law that most advocates of free speech didn't know existed, all within a matter of hours.

After he was admitted to bail by another court the next day, Nana Darkwa granted interview to JoyFM. Listening to the interview I couldn't help but admire how martyrdom easily opens its doors to fools once it can find foolish conspirators. Like a beautiful piece of art placed in the wrong setting, lovers of free speech had to rally round Nana Darkwa, an epitome of what we don't want free speech to become, to assert our right to speak. Nana Darkwa's speech on radio was not only irresponsible but reckless and repugnant, and must be condemned by all opposed to gagging our society. Ironically, such reckless commentary on radio provides ammunition to those who think our freedom of speech must be criminalized. If we allow the likes of Nana Darkwa to run riot with speech terrorism on our airwaves, we run the risk of reversing all the gains chalked in our quest for a free speech society. It behooves all lovers of free speech to condemn such irresponsible use of our priceless freedom to maintain its sanctity and scare off the likes of Nana Darkwa. I understand he went to church with his parents to thank God for his bail. If I was the preacher for the day, I would have read him Proverbs 18:6 – 'A fool's lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating'. Criminal libel may be off the statutes but people who feel defamed by unsubstantiated allegations may seek their pound of flesh in a civil court. Going on radio and swearing to things that be not as if they are is not the smartest thing to do. Mama, please call your son at dawn as our elders used to do and find him some words of advice, surely there is something left in the pot for him at 27.

What do we say about the other conspirators in this saga? Kofi Adams says Rawlings didn't know about his actions and I say, Yeah Right! When it comes to making unsubstantiated and wild allegations against people high and low, Chairman Rawlings stands tall. Where are the names of the people who murdered dozens of women in Ghana? Of course we need a lie detector and Atoa Nyama to bring them out. Between what Nana Darkwa said and the many things the ex president had said, from which commeth fear and panic? Would Kofi Adams have found it prudent, if his boss had been dragged before an over-zealous regional police commander when he made wild allegations against President Kufuor and many other people? The last time I checked, the 'twit' Ludwig said he never used a police escort home. Rawlings and Co are the last to throw stones at Nana Darkwa. They live in a tall glass house. If Chairman Rawlings finds a dose of his own medicine too bitter to swallow, perhaps it can help reform him. Unlike Nana Darkwa, there is little advice left in the pot for him at his age, but maybe a dose of his bitter medicine will be more successful. I hear he will be praying for the young man. So are many men slandered and called thieves by him praying for him. It will be interesting to find out from the police commander what she thinks in retrospect. Were all the resources and efforts spent in the dramatic arrest of Nana Darkwa worth it? The melodrama only popularized Nana Darkwa's allegations. Before Nana Darkwa opened his mouth too wide for his own good, I'd read a humorous piece on Ghanaweb that claimed Yaa Beauty saved Valentine by the blaze. Many contributors told the author what they feel about his piece and they were not all complimentary. Because Auntie Rose didn't create operation Cyber Storm, the good majority of Ghanaians never heard the ludicrous meaning the author read into the blaze. I believe if Kofi Adams and the police had acted differently, not many souls will ever have heard of a certain Nana Darkwa or his nonsensical ramblings at the station. How many Ghanaians listen to that show on Top Radio? But I guess now that they have a star panelist, many more will listen including Rose Atinga, Kofi Adams and a certain judge Wilson.    

Legal experts like Ace Ankomah have delivered informed treatises on the contribution of our laws and the judicial system in creating this avoidable saga. From a lay man's perspective, I'm just at a loss as to how our laws allow a judge to send someone to jail for two weeks even before his case is heard just because he shouted arson! Are we serious about decongesting our prisons? I find it difficult to understand how shouting arson can create panic and fear. How come some people can get a battalion of policemen to execute such a needless operation with alacrity whiles majority of the people will be lucky to get one police man (woman) to defend them when they are really under attack. Is somebody running a parallel security system within the state security apparatus?

The real heroes in this drama are all those who stood to be counted when our freedom was under attack. The message has been succinctly delivered; Ghanaians cherish our freedom of speech and will rise to defend it even if the speech belongs to misguided commentators like Nana. Kudos to the GJA, NMC, Prof. Karikari, Kwesi Pratt, His Excellency President Mills (who doesn't respond to Atta anymore) and many ordinary Ghanaians who told Kofi Adams, his employers and other conspirators that we frown on flagrant abuse of power, even if the perpetrators have unfettered access to the State security apparatus. Had it not been for these heroes, Nana Darkwa would have achieved undeserved martyrdom. I find this particular thought very offensive. Fools denigrate martyrdom, but the truth is they can easily achieve it once they find conspirators who have 'it' in equal measure. When the role call of Ghanaian martyrs is made and we hear Nana Darkwa's name, it should be for reasons more noble than his post valentine day babble. This generation have no business soiling the achievements of  Sergeant Adjetey, Lance Corporal Attipoe and Private Odartey-Lamptey who we salute today on the 28th of February.  

 

When Will The Horse Stop Dancing?

Once upon a time, the Kings of a city called gold had to occupy the city square. The perimeter of the square was adorned with the great fromtomfrom drums draped in the city's colours that depicted blood, riches and food. The king calls the tune, and as the master drummers pounds the cow skin at the head of the drum, the king will dance and dance and dance. The fate of the animals in the city was dependent on how well the king dances. That the animals prosper, go hungry, are healthy or happy depended on the dance. Among the animals were the horse, elephant, tortoise, cockerel, and the dogs.

Twenty-two years after the three- lions was forced to abandon the city, a dog occupied the square. The king like other dogs of war before him had no royal blood but apprehended royalty by shedding blood. They shared the horse's military tradition, but were soon to share the royal destiny, except that the horse was very ruthless in dispatching the dogs before him to the ancestors. One by one three kings and five advisors were forced to swear eternal loyalty to the gun as they faced their nemesis at the stakes close to the Atlantic Ocean. Who born dog?

The horse was not the most intelligent of animals but his shear bravado won him great following and his ruthlessness inspired trepidation among foes and friends alike. The horse's dances became a great source of worry to many. He galloped, he stamped, he screamed and with great tantrums he remonstrated his dissatisfaction with everything but himself. He made war dances even when a new baby is being christened. He danced Atsiagbekor, he danced Adzohu, he danced Takai and he won't stop dancing Gadzo. He soon acquired messianic status among his followers. Even foul invectives spewing without restrain from his mouth became a religious creed. He couldn't do wrong and he considers himself infallible. He tolerated little descent, to the extent that he beat up his own drummers playing to his tune, to instill discipline. Nobody dared tell him he erred; he was larger than life, who born dog?

After years of dancing unchallenged, the horse grudgingly accepted the will of the animals- A dance for a king, two dances no more. The horse anointed the tortoise to take over the mantle from him. The tortoise was a very learned animal by all standards, but the animals preferred the elephant for a king. So the elephant occupied the square and danced, and danced and danced. Unfortunately the horse couldn't watch the elephant dance. 'An elephant cannot dance' he screamed. 'He is too big to move like I did'. The horse stayed outside the square but never stopped courting attention away from the elephant, so as the elephant shook, the horse danced outside the circle. Even the dogs of war I dealt with, who fears an elephant he assured himself. Who born dog?

As he danced outside the square, many of his followers who knew he was dancing amiss refused to call him to order. More intelligent animals in his fold always appeared to rationalize his rants and pants outside the square no matter how nonsensical. The elephant and the elephant's followers screamed at him, but who born dog? So the horse danced and his sages rationalized his actions as the tortoise and others cheered him on to the chagrin of the elephant.

The animals had decreed, 'A dance for a king, two dances no more', so the elephant had to leave the square to be replaced by the tortoise according to the will of the animals expressed in a vote. Many had been worried about the tortoise occupying the square, because he had sworn openly to seek the counsel of the horse by the minute. But the animals this time had called on the tortoise to dance so he must dance and so he danced and danced but alas the horse is still not happy. Ah, did the tortoise forget his oath to seek counsel? Why is he making the horse mad? The horse is still dancing even with the tortoise in the square. The learned tortoise was too intelligent to attempt to take on the horse in fight; it would be the height of folly to attempt such a feat. So he ignored the horse and went on with his dance. But as the tortoise danced, the horse kept dancing even at a more fervent pace. He prophesied doomsday for the tortoise, poured out vituperations at the drummers who beat the tune of the tortoise. 'Your dance moves are too slow Mr. Tortoise', the horse kept shouting. 'Didn't you see how I danced when I had the square?'  The tortoise and the tortoise's advisors are in a fix. 'We followed him to dance in the square, we cheered him to dance outside the square, now we have the square but he won't stop dancing, we have created a monster, the beast within is more difficult to tackle', they pondered over their predicament.

In another mad moment of rage, the horse described the tortoise, who stood a couple of meters away from him, as only fit to take care of dead bodies, what did the tortoise do? He smiled. But the horse won't stop dancing. Now he chided the tortoise, 'you're not man enough to beat your followers as I did mine' 'you think you have a seer that protects you, bring him from the city called Oil and we will teach him about God.' God is angry with you, he will kick you and your undisciplined, insatiable and fatherless followers out of the square and don't think I will ever leave the square with you, I will always be here dancing and kicking and screaming because I am God's gift to the city called Gold and no one deserves the square but me." By the way, the Horse is calling others fatherless, does anyone know his father?

Even the elephant went from being amused to being worried. He called the tortoise and asked the learned tortoise, "How do you watch this un-concerned?" "Do you need a psychiatrist?" The tortoise replied firmly, 'NO, I don't need one'. "Ponko Abo Dam A, Ne Wura No Dze Ommbuo Dam Bi" (to wit a mad horse doesn't determine the owner's sanity). 'Take this from me Mr. elephant, if you jump off a mad horse, you'll be trampled to death'. 'Hold tight until it is tired and has no energy to jump and kick'. 'Gently get off the saddle and walk away to safety when it lies to catch its breath'. 'My horse may be mad , but I am very sane'.



The moral of the story is simple, when you encourage evil because it feasts on your enemy's flesh, after your enemy is consumed, evil feats on your flesh.

I'm curious to know how this story will end if I have to tell it to my grand children many decades to come. When did the horse stop dancing? Will he ever stop dancing?





Disclaimer: this story is not about any animal, four legs or two legs, living or dead. Any resemblance to any event is a mere co-incidence. It isn't meant to create fear or panic so the police need not bother to visit. It is a story, told the way our grandmothers taught us, to keep the story telling tradition alive.

Yank Them Off, Mr. Joe Gidisu

Living in Ghana is like running a steeple chase. When you overcome one hurdle, another one is thrown into your path. Koo Santana grew up living in a slum called Maamobi. The location in the middle of the capital was great but he hated every other bit of it - the lack of decent toilet and bathroom, filth, poorly ventilated rooms, taps that don't flow, etc – and couldn't wait to get out of the place once he started earning his own money. He struggles out of the mess and finds himself a little self-contained house in Sakumono. To overcome the transportation challenges, he gets himself a second hand car which spends a fair bit of time with mechanics. A good number of the mechanics are Junior High School dropouts who cannot read any manufacturer's manual, yet the engineering monster is at their mercy. Trial and error is their faithful methodology, except that such ineptitude translates to unnecessary cost, downtime and sometimes avoidable accidents for the owner of the car. From Sakumono, any of three routes will get him to his office at the central business district. The route through Nungua is a traffic legend. The Spintex road has fast out-paced its cousin in Nungua. Set off at 6a.m and you will get to the office at 8:30 am already late for work. The third option, through Tema township via the beach road and then across the Tema-Accra motorway clocks over 40km on his odometer daily in one direction, but is the only route that gets him to the office before 8 a.m. This distance was reduced by a few kilometers as motorists forced the authorities to give a tacit approval to the use of a bypass with direct access to the motorway. The damage to his pocket was in the form of high fuel bills which he bore quietly.


He knew he couldn't keep pace with the astronomical increase in rent in this middle class area, so he got himself a piece of land in Afienya , more than 10km from Tema, to put up a three bedroom for himself. This was after his attempt to get a plot of land in Tema which is nearer to Accra was thwarted by the US dollar price tag set by Tema development Corporation( Is it company?) (TDC). When he complained about putting dollar tags on Land in Ghana, the marketing staff at the Ghana government owned TDC scolded him for talking too much and reminded him that TDC serviced plots were meant for people living and working outside Ghana. He was forced to admit that good things, even those provided by the government he pays taxes to, were not meant for him because he chose to live in Ghana after his education. Monkeys, they say play by sizes so Koo Santa moved two towns away to Afienya where he put a little cottage from where he commutes daily to work in Accra. He escaped the huge rent advances demanded by the market but racked up his fuel bills. The longer journey meant he increased his carbon foot print and the environment suffers. Between Afienya and Accra are two toll booths which he had always taken for granted, but alas, no more. A 900% hike in tolls means he must set aside 40GHC (400,000 old cedis) for tolls every month just to commute to and from the office.

My little narration above is about real people and real events. There seem to be some punishment for every step taken to better one's life in Ghana. I have just spent 30 minutes on the motorway between Action Chapel and the Toll booth, a distance less than 2km. A bad situation is exacerbated by the many drivers that lack proper upbringing ("dzimakpla") as a result, they have no conscience-check when they drive on the shoulders of the roads to avoid a civilized queue.

First, the toll booths were creating heavy traffic on the Tetteh Quarshie and Motorway Circles so they were moved. Then electronic gates were introduced to eliminate fraud at the cash point and immediately, traffic conditions worsened, and now the new tolls didn't make it better. Has it occurred to anybody that the toll booths have outlived their usefulness on the motor way? The demarcation between Accra and Tema is long gone. It is not the fault of the average worker that Accra has escaped planning and we must live so far from the business district. It is enough punishment having to spend more on fuel and drive long distances , increasing our stress levels is a price too high for a nation as poor as Ghana. I couldn't believe it when the last government created more toll booths around Accra. I think our governments are just insensitive to our needs because we always turn out in our numbers to vote for non-performing leaders.

The argument that the toll gates are required to collect tolls to improve the road network is neither here nor there. We all know that like the street light levy which we have been paying for ages, there will be no correlation between the tolls and our street conditions. That said, I believe there are better ways of raising these tolls. It is the right of every Ghanaian to drive on decent streets, the cost of which must be borne by all. Tolling particular streets is not helpful to this course. Distribute the cost among all cars, this can be charged once a year when the cars are presented at the DVLA for examination. Foreign cars that enter Ghana through the boarders can pay a road toll before they enter the country. With this arrangement, few roads will need tolling. The toll booths that surround the city of Accra like Trojan walls are unnecessary bother to citizens. Mr. Gidisu, it's time to yank them off. If the gates go, you don't have to worry about who steals the tolls. The money spent on electronic gates will be saved, and the tolls will be deposited straight into your accounts by the banks that operate at the DVLA office. The only loss I see here is that politicians will lose the opportunity to put their "foot soldiers" at the gates in the name of providing them with jobs. Even then, the money saved can be applied to expand the economy to absorb them. Please go ahead and tax away all our earnings as you please, but Koo Santana pleads for his health. The bad traffic situation in Accra is the number 1 stress factor for most of us in Accra and other cities. They may be better here than in some other countries, but we aspire towards greater heights. It is the responsibility of our elected leaders to ease this pain. Stacking us behind toll gates will only make it worse.

By the way, when it comes to taxes, when is enough, enough? When I earn money I pay PAYE, when I buy fuel I'm taxed, when I use my cell phone or browse the Internet I pay communications tax, for daring to use electricity I'm hit with street light levy, drinking packaged water earns me a tax wrath, driving to the office from Kasoa, Afienya, Tema etc is punished for my inability to rent a house in airport with tolls, If I own a cottage I pay property rates , ignore the fact that the roads around my property will never see development in decades and I have to find more money for zoom lion to collect the rubbish I generate, and above all I pay 15% VAT directly or indirectly for all other goods and services. So under all my heavy burden of taxes, I throw my hands up into the air and decide to forget all my problems with two tots of local gin but that doesn't go well with the tax professor president so he gives me a stern rebuke with an alcohol tax. What next Mr President? Please spare the air that we breath. But do I get anything in return for all these taxes? Is that what they call the social contract? I can only concur with Kwaw kese, ABODAM! CRAAAAAAZY! Hey, I hear another tune on the radio. It's a gospel by Ron Kenoly,

"I still have joy
I still have joy
After all I've been through
I still have joy"

Somebody asked me why we're so religious in Ghana. If you take away the con that comes with that too, it is the only avenue to escape the madness.