Monday, December 7, 2009

Bayie Kɔɔɔɔɔ (II) - The Witches Congregate

"The witch cried yesterday and the child died today, who does not know that it was the witch that cried yesterday that killed the child who died today" Yoruba proverb. (

Brutus, My brother from another mother, what will you do if you see a temple in the middle of the forest, and you are told that it is hosting the annual conference of global witches at that moment? Coming from Europe, you may be tempted to draw near the building to see for yourself. But if this happens anywhere in Africa, don't attempt to access anything from that temple using any of your five senses, flee immediately. In my earlier Sakalogue on the activities of the witches of Ghana, I told you these chaps are not friendly, they are deadly. The people of Hyiawu-Besease in the Bosomtwe Kwanwoma District of the Ashanti Region of Ghana are dead worried because the Association of Witches in West Africa (AWWA) has scheduled its annual conference for the town. The chief and people of the town are doing everything under the sun to scuttle these eerie creatures even before the meeting begins.

Dormant prayer warriors have suddenly found the fuel to energize their wheels. A day of prayer and fasting was declared at which the people came together and called on Jehovah to send down warrior angels to scatter the heretic breed. Some intellectuals in the adjoining towns have contacted celebrated mathematicians to calculate the "gyratik radius" – the furthest distance at which you can feel the influence of a gyrating witch. They plan to be outside the "africamotive field" of influence (determined by the gyratic radius) of the conference as a safety measure. Dan Blocker, the chairman of Hyiawu Besease Macho Men (HBMM) has organized his boys to show courage in a way that has annoyed many animal rights activists. The Macho men will take turns in keeping vigil in the forests of the town. Any owl that is seen in the forest must be kicked, crashed, shot or stoned to death. Conspicuously missing in these activities is a libation ceremony to invoke the protection of the ancestors. Our elders are very smart people in Africa. Why invoke the spirit of the ancestors against the witches when every ancestor including my 79 year old grandfather was killed by a witch? They will be no match for the witches.

As I mentioned in my first Sakalogue on witches, the easiest way to identify a witch in a village is to look for a defenseless woman whose face is battered by want, leaving little beauty to be cherished. It is believed that a witches spiritually fly out of their body frames taking the form of  owls as they hounds their prey. They leave their human body in a coma-like state without the ability to respond to stimulus. Based on this knowledge, witch-hunters all over Ghana will pay nocturnal visits to identified suspected witches, whoever fails to respond to loud bangs on the door will be moved from the suspect-list to a list of certified witches and will be dealt with according to the law of the village.

The question on the lips of the people of Hyiawu Besease is "why this town?" In fact, this is the second time in two years that a conference of witches has been scheduled for a town in the Ashanti region. Nobody really knows what happened to the first conference. There is a deity in the Ashanti region called Antoa Nyama, I'm surprised nobody has asked it to make the conference 'nyamaaa'. The problem is we can't tell if the meetings happen or not because nobody knows the form the meetings will take- Physical or spiritual. More interesting is the fact that seemingly, this organization has neither a spokesman nor any identifiable human executive. Their address, both globally and locally, remains unknown, yet their meeting and the agenda has been widely circulated beyond the wildest dreams of any advertising organization for nothing- such a feat can only be chalked by principalities and powers beyond this realm- these must be witches of Africa for sure.

Brutus, you can feel the trepidation in the air. The people of Hyiawu-Besease have already seen some signs. A middle aged woman died shortly after brushing her teeth. A seven bedroom house collapsed and burnt to ashes- I know what you're thinking, shouldn't we withdraw the license of the contractor that put up the building for doing a shoddy job? Hmmm, you see, this one, it is not his fault. It can't be. At a time that witches of unknown origin and indeterminate address have promised the loss of almost a million lives in an operation dubbed "blood galore", every death must be consigned to their account.

I have some personal challenges in my family and some colleagues have advised that it could be attributed to the things I say and write about these awe inspiring creatures but "tofiakwa" with a finger-snap over my head. As Balaam said of Israel to Balak, Numbers 23:23; "There is no enchantment against Ogyakromian, neither is there divination against my family".

Sometimes my bones quiver with great trepidation at these things. No, not of the witches or what they do or do not do, but of the thousands of Ghanaians who do what they shouldn't do, and do not do what they should because of such unsubstantiated stories- opportunities lost!

Yours truly,


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