GIRL POWER AND THE SECURITY OF OGYAKROM

Dear President of Ogyakrom,

I am not an expert on matters of security but that doesn’t stop me from commenting on a matter of grave concern. As our elders say, “Crocodile’s shame, is Alligator’s shame” to wit “A matter that dishonours the crocodile also dishonours the alligator”. I am an Ogyakromian, so Ogyakrom’s shame is my shame.

Rather uncharacteristic of the BNI, they decided to speak to the media to clear the small matter of Asa B’s family holiday that had to be rudely aborted before it started. In that interview, I heard that Mama Asabee challenged the BNI operative to a contest on who keeps her husband’s passport and won. Mr. president, if a field agent in the BNI cannot prevail against an average Ghanaian woman who has no known credential as a practitioner in the management of aggression, how safe are we?

Forgive me for reading too many CIA thrillers but all the heroes in these books are never expected to lose a fight to ordinary civilians not to mention ladies, unless of course the lady is a trained assassin. My image of our average security operative is a very intelligent person with adequate training in village wrestling techniques which will be counted on to restrain stubborn fugitives who will not succumb to mere words. He is not necessarily the heavy weight champion, but with no disrespect to womanhood, he is not expected to lose a fight to the average Ghanaian woman who is hardly mentioned if aggression is required.

Mr. President, will you be so kind to setup a comic tea (apologies to the Kwatroit), sorry a committee, with lots of tea drinking money to investigate this matter. As part of their terms of reference, the committee should ascertain if Mrs. Asabee is a qualified black belt in tae kwan do , if she is, she must be drafted into our security apparatus by a presidential edict – we can do with her skills- if she isn’t , please fire the security operative with immediate effect! We have no business leaving the business of securing our nation to weaklings.

Before you blame the NPP for weakening the security service by providing job for the boys at the wrong institutions, let me remind you that there have been similar security infractions in the country that had little to do with the NPP. Do you recall that in the last days of his Jerryship’s administration when you were the vice president of Ogyakrom, Mr.and Mrs Djentu were prosecuted for assaulting a military security guard, when they visited the castle to enquire about the where about of their son who was being given identification hair cut at the castle at the time? An un-armed over sixty year old woman and her equally unarmed sexagenarian husband had the effrontery to attack an armed commando from the dreaded 64 battalion at the castle of all places? Who recruits these guys into our elite security institutions?

Apart from physically over powering our security guards, Girl Power has breached our security in more subtle forms in the past. Do you also recall that during that same presidential period, a young American lady got the State of Ogyakrom to guarantee millions of US Dollars under the pretext of turning the Aveyime plains into rice plantations? Yes, I am referring to the infamous Aveyime saga, that landed very decent and respectful men in the dehumanizing jails of Ogyakrom. This Cotton Damsel charmed the watchmen of our precious resources to make her an instant millionaire in her native America. In fact, she had the audacity to count her spoils in a church, with our ministers cheering. Perhaps it was that abomination that caused the heavenly host to expose her subsequently throwing her behind bars in the US. She was bloody lucky she didn’t have to serve time in a Ghanaian jail. Mr. President, this time it is our economic and food security that was breached by another daughter of Eve- Girl Power! Is it true she carried so much clout that she even disrespected you, in your capacity as the Vice president of Ogyakrom?

Mr. President, do you remember that in the aftermath of the June 4 revolution a past military president was accused of using the nation’s money to acquire golf to women with the correct vital statistics? I understand that in those days, young women driving golf were viewed with the same suspicion young men in hummers are viewed today. Once again the security we built around our scarce resources was powerless against the onslaught of a girl wave.

Mr. President, I believe I have cites enough examples to make my point- the security of our state depends on strength and intelligence. In both departments, our security has proven to be very vulnerable to a serious bug- The Girl Power! Please call an emergency cabinet meeting.

Yours sincerely

OGYAKROMIAN!!!